I’m tired of romanticising our relationship together, it was off more than on for a year, we were never as serious as we made people believe. When we broke up it was because I was fucking about with other girls and you were already lining up new guys. I was really fucking sad for months, even now I still miss you from time to time. I don’t really remember who you are, I can barely remember who you were. You have completely faded from my memory, replaced by girls more deserving than you. You made me hate myself and who I was, you convinced me that your happiness was more important than mine. Without you I was lost, I got so used to having you as a safety net; I’d fall straight into your duvet and bury myself in your arms. Fuck, without you I rediscovered the dark thoughts. Suicidal thoughts and loneliness engulfed me, I became the person I swore I’d never relapse in to. Without you in my life, I didn’t want a life. It took me so long to get to the point where I no longer felt empty. Where I am now, is better, no longer sad all day. I’m happy during the day, outgoing and sociable. At night I become a whole new person, I don’t want to go into the things I think. At the end of the day, I guess I’m still attracted to you being here. I still wanna stare deeply into those bedroom eyes. In bed at 2am, I’m still lonely as fuck.